Dear SPCA,

Please to be informed that as of 6.03pm, EDT, an air conditioner was installed in the room of Otto and Butters, the Ferrets In Question. They are currently being cooled down, and will be maintained at a comfortable 78 degrees Farenheit. Unless, that is, they are let out to romp around the house, in which case they have to suck it up and be hot like the rest of us.

No more calls in the dead of night, telling us to "Save the weasels, save the world," please.

Thank you.