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How did I come to this?
Jun. 9th, 2007 01:07 pmAs I was going through yesterday's mail, I saw an obvously bulk-mailed envelope, card-sized, addressed to me. I figured it was a donation request from one of my alma maters (materii? materamos?), but sometimes they also send schedules of upcoming events of the alumni club in similar format. And I like to pretend that someday, I will go to a Satuday seminar on Being and Nothingness, as soon as I have the time, so I open the envelope instead of just tossing it.
It's a little flyer; on the cover is a hip-looking, shirtless guy with a tribal tattoo on his arm, and the copy says "Archaelogist, Beach Volleyball Player, Hopeless Romantic, Audeo Wearer".
Okay, obviously fictional (I would hope an archaeologist would forego the lame tribal tattoo), but whatever, it's an ad. So I open the flyer. Inside, the first thing I see is a photo of a little earpiece-looking gizmo, like the Bluetooth headsets people wear when they're too important to not be able to answer their phones At All Times (or, while they are driving, which is what I have mine for). It's the Audeo! I have apparently been given a pass to the Audeo national 'Test Drive' month!
Well, obviously these people have identified me as a hip, cutting edge person, who likes to use all the newest gadgets to enhance their Life Experience, and though I can't afford, nor really need, a new phone headset, I read the copy further to see what this free trial may entail.
And I come to a horrible realization.
It's a hearing aid.
You can stick all the hot, shirtless guys you want on your ad copy, and tell me that "As early as your mid-twenties, certain sounds can begin to lose clarity." You can show me that it comes in 15 different colors, and tell me it's the 'ultimate tech accessory'. But what you just did, you bastards, is send me a catalogue for a god-damned hearing aid. I do not need a hearing aid, because I am not old!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go chase some kids off my lawn.
(ETA: I just noticed that one of the color names is Green with Envy. Are you Green with Envy....of my hearing aid?!?! Oy.)
It's a little flyer; on the cover is a hip-looking, shirtless guy with a tribal tattoo on his arm, and the copy says "Archaelogist, Beach Volleyball Player, Hopeless Romantic, Audeo Wearer".
Okay, obviously fictional (I would hope an archaeologist would forego the lame tribal tattoo), but whatever, it's an ad. So I open the flyer. Inside, the first thing I see is a photo of a little earpiece-looking gizmo, like the Bluetooth headsets people wear when they're too important to not be able to answer their phones At All Times (or, while they are driving, which is what I have mine for). It's the Audeo! I have apparently been given a pass to the Audeo national 'Test Drive' month!
Well, obviously these people have identified me as a hip, cutting edge person, who likes to use all the newest gadgets to enhance their Life Experience, and though I can't afford, nor really need, a new phone headset, I read the copy further to see what this free trial may entail.
And I come to a horrible realization.
It's a hearing aid.
You can stick all the hot, shirtless guys you want on your ad copy, and tell me that "As early as your mid-twenties, certain sounds can begin to lose clarity." You can show me that it comes in 15 different colors, and tell me it's the 'ultimate tech accessory'. But what you just did, you bastards, is send me a catalogue for a god-damned hearing aid. I do not need a hearing aid, because I am not old!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go chase some kids off my lawn.
(ETA: I just noticed that one of the color names is Green with Envy. Are you Green with Envy....of my hearing aid?!?! Oy.)
